Point and Laugh at Britney! The Circus Freak Is Back!
January 5, 2008 | 10:12 am | by Chris Akin |Rate It:
Sitting here scanning the newswire from my modest home supplied by modest means, I watched pop trainwreck Britney Spears being carted out of her home shackled to a gurney. Shephard Smith was going on and on about how “out of it” Ms. Spears looked in the video of her being loaded into the ambulance, while telling a ridiculous story about how she held police at bay while locking herself and her kids in the bathroom for hours. Basically, the morale to this “news” piece was that Britney Spears has finally cracked; so much so that she’s now going to have the ultimate motherly insult thrust upon her - losing custody of her kids.
Forgive me for not feeling a whole lot of compassion or sadness for anyone involved in this scenario.
For a multitude of reasons, this is not only not surprising, but seems a bit more thought out than a lot of people are giving Ms. Spears credit for. Sure, she’s become the “point and laugh” girl of our generation over the last year. Yes, she’s a mess when compared to only a few years ago when she was, arguably, the most popular pop star in the world. Ultimately though, as has been proven by her actions as you look at them without cramming each one into an individual observation and just look at them at scope, each incident that makes the news and the tabloid newspapers is little more than one-upsmanship on the last outrageous thing. It all started innocently enough. A nipple slip, which led to accidentally being photographed without panties on while coming out of a car. Once that was deemed unshocking, it was escalated to cursing out the paparazzi. Then puking and passing out in clubs. Then beating a paparazzi’s car with an umbrella. Then a trip to the barber that went bad. No one’s forgotten the unrehearsed, awful “return” on MTV, which has since been followed by several hit and run incidents, missed court appearances, and ultimately now, a trip to the hospital because everyone assumes Britney Spears is crazy. Yeah, right!
Hollywood is obviously a disgusting place; a zone of idiocy that masked it’s ugliness for years on the back of over-hyping the “artistic genius” that came out of it in the form of movies, television, music and traditional art. I submit to you that the demise of Britney Spears is little more than a microcosm of Hollywood as a whole. For years and years, the depravity of La La Land was masked by the outward “dignity” portrayed by the establishment. The stars, and more importantly the handlers, ensured that all of their artists were portrayed as dignified and above the common man in the press. That worked too…for awhile. But, like anything else, there were always chinks in the armor. For years, most was able to be adequately covered and pushed under the rug. There were scandals all through the years, but if you think about it, those scandals were far less received than they are now. Think about it. Leading man and super stud of his day Rock Hudson getting aids from gay sex - is that more or less of a story than the barely known sister of Britney Spears ending up pregnant at 16? I say more, but it was barely a blip on the map back then! If it happened today and it was Brad Pitt, you would have wall to wall coverage for weeks. Look at how much coverage the death of a bloated whore like Anna Nicole Smith got…not for days, or weeks, but for months! This wasn’t exactly Marilyn Monroe killing herself overdosing on pills. This was a chick who’s claim to fame was doing Playboy over a decade ago, celebutized for being stupid in reality TV, and doing a few D-list movies like the great classic SKYSCRAPER (am I the only one that saw that abomination)? Clearly, the world’s biggest actress of her day, who was also banging the president of our country, was probably a bigger story. I doubt though that it got the attention.
So why did things change? What has happened that has caused every little thing to be a news story? Well, truth be told, we have changed. Back in the old days, no one wanted to hear about scandal. Instead, everyone was content to enjoy the art for the art it was. We were happy that the celebrities were living well, so that they could entertain us well from the comforts they earned. Now however, the arrogance of these people makes us thrilled to see these pompous jerkoffs fall apart. Simply put, the American Public don’t want a Britney Spears to have continued, long term success. They want to have a front row seat as the train crashes into reality, because reality will always win that battle. Nothing makes us happier than seeing these modern celebrities that have accomplished nothing like Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton and the like treated like the common pieces of shit that they truly are. We all enjoy seeing a privileged bitch like Paris Hilton thrown in jail; even if it is only for a day. I had a good laugh myself watching her scream out in tears when she was taken to jail. By comparison, Saddam Hussein was nothing but dignified in his final moments as he knew he was seconds away from having his neck snapped and being killed. It shouldn’t be overlooked that school and mall shooters all aspire to get the attention reserved for the “stars” of today - a statement in itself that says a lot for what being famous has degenerated to.
Ultimately, Hollywood is an awful place. TMZ, Perez Hilton and many more like them do a great job of exposing these spoiled fucktards for the pieces of shit that they are. Money obviously can’t buy happiness, as Ms. Spears and her $20 million a year in earnings proves. In reality, fame does little more than make you a circus freak for all of us to point at, laugh at, and take great solace in the fact that you are fucked up and we’re not. Keep your money!
It’s only a matter of time before Britney is working the pole.